2014 Oscar “Losers” To Get $55,000 Swag Bags – Here’s What Is Inside

Mar 30, 2014 by

Oh, to be a Hollywood star. Not only do they get fame and fortune, but they also get killer swag bags come Oscar time. This year will be no different.

The Los Angeles-based marketing firm Distinctive Assets on Wednesday (Feb. 12) released the list of free stuff that will serve to console the “losers” in Oscar’s acting and directing categories this year, and it’s enough to make you want to enroll in acting classes. Valued at more than $55,000 each — “and growing every day” — this year’s “Everyone Wins at the Oscars Nominee Gift Bags” will include everything from pepper spray to booze to a five-day Hawaii vacation.

The gift with the biggest price tag? A $15,000 private, customized “Walk Japan” tour.

“We always look forward to introducing celebrities to an array of companies with fabulous gifts to share,” Distinctive Assets found Lash Fary said in a news release. “But it’s particularly fun to be able to do so when you know it will truly brighten someone’s day. Even Hollywood’s most acclaimed stars are disappointed over this particular loss, and when our consolation gift shows up the next day we like to think it’s a welcome distraction.”

Because, you know, it’s hard to be one of the beautiful people.

Below, find a list of the contents of this year’s “Everybody Wins” swag bag — which, incidentally, have no official affiliation with the Academy Awards — along with the value of each item. Just be prepared to be jealous. And the winners get …

Chocolatines Savory Wine Flight Pairing. Value: $80.
Halo Natural Pet Food certificate for 10,000 meal donations to the rescue or shelter of the recipient’s choice. Value: $6,142.89.
Max Martin shoes. Value: $750.
Slow Watches. Value: $290.
Dosha Pops herbal tea-based lollipops. Value: $35.
Blossom Blends tea. Value: $49.95.
Hydroxycut gummies, protein bars and protein shakes. Value: $38.96.
Narrative Clip automatic camera and app. Value: $279.
Polar Loop activity tracker. Value: $109.95.
Steamist Total Sense Home Spa System. Value: $2,560.
M3K Beauty products. Value: $100.
Rouge Maple organic maple syrup. Value: $250.
House call from celebrity acupuncturist/nutritionist Heath Lounsbury. Value: $500.
Slimware dinnerware. Value: $59.
Huntley Drive Fitness package of 10 personal training sessions. Value: $850.
Le Petit Cirque, North America’s only all-kid pro Cirque troupe. Value: $575.
Jan Lewis Designs bangle bracelets. Value: $400.
Koloa Landing Resort five-night Hawaii stay. Value: $2,000.
“Loaded: The Story of a Ghost” graphic novel. Value: $49.95.
Aviv 613 Vodka. Value: $30.
Imanta resort stay in Ocean Casa. Value: $3,300.
Makeup Studio products by Diane Capt. Value: $105.
Simon’s Happy Pet Shampoo. Value: $15.
Bee Free Honee. Value: $39.
Betty Jane Homemade Candies. Value: $69.75.
Cannonball Wine. Value: $75.
The Green Garmento garment bags. Value: $23.
Jitseu leather handbags. Value: $279.
Cherryt Knit & Co. winter accessories. Value: $158.
Vetvik luxury leather case. Value: $230.
Mane ‘N Tail hair-care products. Value: $95.35.
Mace Brand pepper spray. Value: $120.
Rocky Mountaineer train travel package through Western Canada. Value: $4,078.
Acure skincare products. Value: $300.
Epic Pet Heath electrolyte therapy. Value: $1,571.98.
Adept Armor fabric waterproofing solution. Value: $26.99.
Wrap Wrap luxury fabric wrap. Value: $15.
Walk Japan tour package. Value: $15,000.
“Best of Las Vegas” travel package. Value: $9,000.

Reprint: The Times-Picayune By Mike Scott, NOLA.com

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